Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Weeks 47 & 48

Only 4 more page left for the weekly journal.  Well, it's 5 including her birthday.  Ok, so 4 pages.  I'm thinking 'outloud' here.  I scrapped these pages today while listening to Chrismas music.  Christmas music?  Yup, that's right!  And it made me quite giddy, too!  Which I needed today.  Nothing more to report...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Weeks 43 & 44

Hello!  Persnickety Prints sale over the weekend motivated me to get a little more caught up with scrapbooking Jeralyn's weekly journal.  I'm so close to being done.  I could have scrapbooked more, but I think my brain needed a break.  But I was able to send a good chunk of pages to be printed, so I am happy about that!  Here are a couple of pages I created:

Have a super awesome morning, afternoon, evening or whatever time of the day it is for you!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Insecurity and people-pleasing

I think it's time for a 'soap box' post...or a muse if you want to call it that. 

Recently I have been learning some things about myself.  And some of the things I have learned have been surprising to me.  Like for instance, I have felt uncomfortable in situations recently that I thought I was over, and I have felt insecure (in an odd way) because of not being able to please a person's expectations.  I thought I was confident in my introvertedness, and I thought I was over being a people pleaser.  Apparently not.'s time to grow, learn, and change.  I know I'm not the only one who has dealt with insecurity and a lack of confidence, so I thought I would share.  Sometimes in the sharing I learn as well.

Years ago, God showed me all of the things I was putting my security in--things like people, jobs, looks, etc.  He began to shake all of those areas of my life so much that I realized that none of those wonderful things were substantial foundations to put my confidence.  I realized that the only sure footing was in God--in His foundation.  And from there I went on a journey of getting to know who I was in Christ.  In the end I found that I actually liked myself.  I learned what I genuinely liked.  I am secure because of Christ. 

So why all of a sudden this change?  Why do I see my confidence sinking a bit?  Maybe I lost my footing a bit.  Or maybe I need a tune-up.  Or maybe these are new areas.  Or maybe they have always been there and now God is shining His light upon them so we can take care of it. 

I know who I am; I know what I like.  I need not to compare myself with others.  For example: I don't like hand-motion songs (ie patty-cake).  It's not my thing.  (Did I just hear someone gasp?)  So when I go to story-time and everyone is doing, "Where is thumb-kin..." I want to pull the lever and sink into the floor.  It's not me.  I can sing and dance with Jeralyn all day, but please don't make me do hand-motion songs.  But when I'm sitting in that library and most of the other moms are singing and motioning along, I feel uncomfortable.  I feel so out of place.  Like I don't belong.  But WHY do I care?  Why do I care that I'm not following everyone else?  I'm not the only one not doing it, but even if I was, why should I be uncomfortable?  I want to not care.  I want to be ok with being me; and being me in those situations is smiling and watching everyone else enjoying themselves.  I need to come to terms with this.  YOU may like the silly songs.  THEY may like the silly songs.  I like the songs, I just don't like the hand-motions.  So just because YOU and THEY like it doesn't mean I have to.  See what I'm saying? 

I like the color orange. YOU like the color blue.  THEY like the color yellow.  We are all different.  I have to be me and you have to be you.  They have to be they.  I am not they or you... I am ME!

And about the people pleasing.  I know there are people in my life that want me to be a certain someone to them.  Expectations.  But I cannot fulfill those expectations.  And because I cannot fulfill those expectations I feel like I'm letting them down.  And then the people pleaser wells up inside of me.  And then I worry.  And then I feel like there's this battle.  I thought I was over this.  I am not responsible for someone else's happiness.  We all have to choose to be happy all on our own.  It's a choice; no one can make you.  So I have to disect this ugly people-pleasing mindset and just say NO!  I'm learning.  I want to be FREE to be me.  When we allow others to be who they are and release them from any expectations, there is freedom...then there is this beautiful, flowing spring of unconditional love. 

If we could all just be who we are and release ourselves from the ugly expectations of others, this world would be a better place!  It's poison to ourselves and to others when we allow ourselves to choose to be insecure and worry about people pleasing.  Let me be me and you can be you.

Let's be ourselves. Let's stop being uncomfortable and just face the facts. 

Okay?  Okay!

*stepping off soap box*

I'll post more pages soon!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Week 42

Wow!  I'm posting 2 days in a row!  I remember the days when I would post  That was "before Jeralyn".  Anyway, I wanted to share about a page I worked on this morning while Quent took Jeralyn on a hike (what a great husband/daddy!).  I'm waaaaay behind on her baby journal, but I have things organized pretty well so that I can just come back on the computer and know where I left off without feeling terribly overwhelmed.  Yesterday, my creative juices started churning again.  So that along with some motivation to get involved in a sale that Persnickety Prints is having, I thought it would be good to complete some of these journal pages.  So this morning I played!  But I felt myself getting stuck in the creative rut again.  This is my first draft:
I don't like it.  I don't care for it.  But I was ready to settle so I could continue on.  I took a break and when I came back I just knew I had to change something.  The pictures were too big on the page, so I shrunk them and then I felt like the creative juices could flow again.  It's amazing what one little change can do!
And this is my final draft!  I love it!  I love the blend of colors and all of the fun details.  I'm SO glad I took a break and changed things because now I'm truly satisfied!  Yeah!
Recently I found myself stuck on whether or not to continue some type of journaling for Jeralyn.  I thought about doing a monthly journal after she turned 1 year, but now that she's almost 14 months and I haven't been keeping track of much of anything since then, I'm thinking I won't do a journal for each month.  But I'm still having a mental debate over it.  I don't want to miss anything about her changes/growth at this time!  I need to make a decision fast!

Friday, October 19, 2012

I'm back...

It's been awhile since I have posted!  Sorry!!  We were on a 2-1/2 week vacation to the Midwest and I've been having creative lulls.  I was also stuck on a page and I wasn't willing to go forward until I finished it.  But now the page is completed and maybe the creative juices will be able to flow again.
This is a page I did about my surgery I had earlier this year.  I really like how soft it turned out because it was definitely a sensitive experience.  Whew!  I'm glad appendicitus is a one-time-event thing.  I named it "unplanned circumstances".

And this was the page I had a hard time finishing.  Let's just say this color combo isn't my favorite (must remember that for future photos!).  I thought about graying everything out and only having the avocado green in the picture, but I didn't want to take the time to do that.  I should have though because I spent way too much time trying to make the color combo look right.  Ugh!  Oh well, it's DONE!
I've been listening to a few Beth Moore studies on youtube.  I've been real encouraged!  It's been really good to spend more time in the Word each day!  I follow a devotional called Manna for Moms.  I also listen to Joyce Meyer from time to time.  It's been really good!
As far as the knitting goes, I have a few projects in the works, but only working on one currently.  Recently I tossed around the idea of learning to crochet, but I'm not sure I want to add yet another thing to my life--I already have enough to do and so little time! 
And I'm also thinking about becoming a Stampin' Up! demonstrator again.  But that's yet another thing I'm not sure I want to add to my life right now.  I need a social outlet...something besides story-time and going to the pool...something for me!  Ha!
Enjoy your day!  Enjoy the sun!  The rain!  The snow!  Or all of the above like we are!